| [ | mood | | |  Missing You Already | ] |
| [ | music | | | Mae- This Time Is The Last Time (currently) Random MP3player | ] |
Last night at Student Venture was awesome. Lauren had come by just to say goodbye to Cory and myself, and then she had to leave. I had no idea what I was going to sign in the yearbooks that people handed to me. First was Cory's, and I think I did all right. I'm not sure what I wrote, but I think it'll be okay. Next was Megan's. Talk about not knowing what to say. It came out with no method... just madness. I wrote something, somewhere in the middle of my paragraph saying that I was sorry I was messing up her yearbook because I didn't have a clue what I was writing. And then I included a poem that I have given to her before, but I made some changes to it in the yearbook. I think I messed that up too. I don't even know if I got the title right. Well, then it was Amanda's. That was pretty short. And Courtney's was really short. I realized after signing Megan's yearbook that I hadn't left any contact information or anything. I had really wanted to leave that, but I started with Amanda's. I did go back and give Cory my contact info though, so that was good. Megan already has it.
Anyway, at some point Justin spelled his name with his booty dance. That was entertaining. I just tried my own, I have no idea how I did, and none of you will ever find out... Sorry. I didn't get to say goodbye to Megan because I was signing Courtney's yearbook, but that's okay, I'll probably see her when I come back in June. You know, my sister is having all of her friends visit Marianna for her birthday. But I'm visiting my friends in Jacksonville for mine. But then again, my sister is also having a weird party. I kind of don't want to be around when it happens. I'm not usually a big fan, or a small fan for that matter, of her friends. By the way. If you get me anything for my birthday, make it pictures. That's all I want. I want to remember all of you. Thank you guys for the card. I've already packed it away, but I will put it up somewhere where I can see it in my new house. I do things like that. Megan and I really would be perfect, it's funny. She'd throw stuff away, and I'd keep it. Well, I think I've let her go... All that's left now is goodbye. Now that it's on my mind... I don't want to let go. Just keep praying.
On to the end of the night. Lui's yearbook. AMAZING!!! I didn't have a clue what I was going to write. So I started looking through some poems I had written recently, and I found one that had been inspired by Twothirtyeight's song 'This Town Will Eat You.' I had just written it that afternoon, a couple hours before Student Venture. Aside from the last line, it seemed perfect, so I sat down and thought up an ending, and then decided that this is still a work in progress. But this is what went into Lui's yearbook:
Someday when things are slow again
We'll burn this city down
With all our memories within
We'll burn this demon down
Dancing in acid rain with hands
Raised high to praise the sound
Echoed screams of shattered dreams
We'll see this darkness drown
Someday when things are slow again
We'll burn this city down
The Lord has held us in His hands
We'll watch this pain all drown
05/19/2005
I wrote some more things for him, and then he had to go to talk to a friend before it was too late. So we left. What I wrote for Lui, was simply amazing; maybe not the poem, but everything else. I have never signed a yearbook like that. Usually when I sign yearbooks it's always just 'Have a great summer, Matt.' But tonight I don't think I ever mentioned summer. Because these are people I could possibly never see again. But I will. I'm sure.
Okay, I owe you some poems from the last few days don't I? Well really quickly. I still need to finish packing although there isn't much left. This is the one I tried writing for Megan before seeing SW3: ROTS. I think it's lame. It was combining a recent poem, 'Your Face Here (Have Your Way),' with ideas from an old poem called 'Midnight Pajama Parade (I Thought Well of Farewell).' You can tell by the last few lines that I just gave up at the end. There was too much noise in the theater, and I couldn't concentrate. So I decided to wander around the theater and visit friends, and then the movie started.
Sleep It Off
Again I thought so well
But never planned to say
Oh it doesn't want to be said
And all these words fill up my head
Oh the wild things we think of
All the wild things
And this is all that we have left
We've given in to death
And this is all that I'll have left
Memories from when I slept
Dreaming of beauties I can't recall
I think I need to sleep it off
Because I haven't found out yet
Why I'm sinking into death
Why these words, they fill my head
And I'm drowning in artistic genius
But not enough to say
What I thought so well of
But how can what has to be said
Be good?
When it all only turns out to be time
Passing bye...
Empty meaningless words
Emotions they fail to express
I'll have more inspiration
Once I give my mind a rest
I think I need to sleep it off
05/18/2005
And then when I woke up in the morning, I started something but never finished it. Now it makes me think of something God might have been writing to me because I was reluctant to get up. Here are the thoughts that came out;
Oh wipe the sleep from your eyes my Darling
You weren't out all night
Writing your heart out for
The Dear One you love
05/19/2005
I'm also going to include The Midnight Pajama Parade. The (...) The three periods stand for 'I' 'Love' 'You'. Just so it makes sense at the end.
Midnight Pajama Parade (I Thought Well of Farewell)
I’ll be ...Left behind without a smile
To greet me with ‘goodbye’
I’ll write ...Farewell to all the sleepless
...Nights you leave behind
Fare-(not-so)-well to all the bad dreams
But who was that beautiful girl in mine?
I’ll never know
Even though I tried
But to continue
The other dreams I recognized
All failed to remember to
Remember her name ...For me
Dream well!!! ...For me
Dream well!!! ...For your memories
Sleep now and dream
Rest well for the morning comes
Don’t leave without “please”
“Please think of me”
Sleep well and fantasize
Now wake well with no sleepy eyes
Don’t blink on your trip
Savor every moment
But know I’ll be there if you fall
You know God’ll catch you if you fall
Take voyage
And safe return to me
But not to me only
For now this is my prayer
This is ...My best wishes of love ...to you
Sleep well and dream
Remember for me
I will see you on your return ...Don’t forget
I will hug you on your return ...Don’t forget
Don’t forget your duty to return
We still love you so please return
I will follow when you fail to
We still love you so please return
You leave to fetch your medicines
I pray they keep you well
Windows Sun Beauty and Breeze
I pray that they keep you well
I pray in time
For this world will pass away
And it will leave you smiling...
You know that you will be smiling
Keep well...
If just for the effort of this parade
Keep well...
Poorly thought out to simply say
(...) Farewell
01/15/2005
With thanks and love
(...) Farewell
Matthew Shane
COMMENTS
 |  Bye Matt!! humble_love2005-05-20 09:39 pm UTC (link)     |
| Hey Matt! I thought I would leave a "goodbye" comment. Although hopefully I'll see you at swing dancing at Murray Hill. But if not here it goes. I will miss you deeply. And of course I will remember to take lots of pictures for you and when you return will make a spiffy thing for you to keep of all the memories here in Jax. Your poems are amazing, so never stop writing. :) If you don't mind, I think I will print all of your poems out and put them around my room...or something to that effect. I totally wish I could write like that. God has really given you a gift, so remember to use it for Him!! Also be praying for me. Just for everything. That I will realize that everything is God's and will not be mad at Him for taking all of my friends away, but instead praise His name. And just also pray that I will be able to hear whatever God wants me to do and to figure out my gifts. I hope God blesses you with many more friends in Marianna. I will most definitely be keeping in contact with you. And whenever you should need comfort, go to the Lord and rest in His arms. - Amanda |
|  Re: Bye Matt!!guardedlegacy2005-05-23 07:31 pm UTC (link) |
| Yay, Comments.... awwww... they're like happy-sad comments... I am sad. I miss you guys. Thank you for missing me too Matt |
|  kathyxwithxaxk2005-05-22 12:32 pm UTC (link) |
| i will miss you very much Matt. I am glad that you are there safely, but i still miss you. Hopefully i will be seeing you very soon when you come back for a visit. |
| guardedlegacy 2005-05-23 07:32 pm UTC (link) |
| Yay, Comments.... awwww... they're like happy-sad comments... I am sad. I miss you guys. Thank you for missing me too Matt |
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