| [ | mood | | |  Thankful | ] |
| [ | music | | | Twothirtyeight, mewithoutYou, Emery, and now Showbread | ] |
Lots of stuff going on. For starters, that poem about work has been updated, and I think it’s just about finalized, but a lot of things change over time.
Corporate Conscience Calling
Lock the windows and the doors
Or they’ll be coming back for more
But they aren’t the ones that are eating us alive
Our biggest enemy is paying us to die
......... (Or so they like to deny)
Well I’m sick of it
My life’s worth more than this
Undermanned and underhanded
Overworked and underpaid
What will it take to get some appreciation?
I’m so tired of being overlooked
They told us they wanted ownership
But have no example of their own
We own this place more than they
And they’re the ones living life in luxury
Stealing our earnings
To fuel their selfish greed
All the while demanding ownership
And all this time that’s what we’ve given
One-hundred plus percent
Blood, sweat, and I’ve cried so many nights
What does ownership cost to them?
Minimum wage for the government’s sake?
Well what do they think of this?
Drain the life from our fingertips
Maybe if we fight back
They’ll learn to be thankful for the lives we give
Where is the ‘Christ-based’ leadership they advertised?
I’m swinging from the gallows
Built tall and strong by their pride
We’ve been called to a mission
To seek and save the lost
How will they explain their souls to God?
After judgment will they regret killing us?
Will they learn from their mistakes?
Or will insincerity always say,
“Thanks for the business.”
“We appreciate you coming in today.”
Perhaps I’m just acting out
Playing well the roll of cynic
So you just call this a bad day
But I’m not going back
I know that if we keep it up
Everything around is bound to break
And we’re all gonna die this way
05/02/05
Thursday night at StudentVenture was really great. I’m going to tell it a little out of order, but after it was over, I sat talking with Lui until like midnight (I didn’t get home until like 1:00). At the end of SV, we broke into small groups to pray. There were a lot of requests, but in my group I couldn’t bring myself to pray for requests. It had been on my heart to pray all night, and when it came to the small groups, I wasn’t going to pray at all, but then I just blurted out a prayer of thanks. I wasn’t going to pray because I thought I’d be the odd one out, not praying for the requests, but then I just though, ‘God doesn’t care, he just wants you to be honest with him.’ And so I just prayed, thanking Him for the trials we go through, for the growth that they cause, and for all the beautiful things He has given to us here on earth; simple things, but beautiful, like flowers and clouds. I had nearly spoken out and started praying a similar prayer at the end of the worship when StudentVenture had started, but Ryan asked Tim to pray, so I stopped myself. As far as another first goes for the night, I shared a praise with the group; that I received the results from the GED Wednesday night, and I am officially graduated from High School. I said that I had Megan to thank for that, because she made me sign up for it.
First Tony mentioned Psalm 39"11-13, but I’ll get to that later. But while he was speaking about Psalm 39:4-6, I was reminded of a thought that I had had months ago, while Josiah was praying in our Wednesday night small group.
Psalm 39:4-6
“Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath (NKJV - vapor).” Selah
Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
The idea was that our lives here on earth are just nine months in the womb of God. The thought gets really deep, in so many ways that it’s hard to know which direction to begin in. On thing; we no longer need to fear death in life, because we aren’t really dying. We are being ‘born’ into eternity. Some children are born late, and some come prematurely, and it is the same way with being born into eternity. Some ‘die’ young, and some live to be very old. It all depends on God’s timing. He is preparing us for eternity. Another thing is the intimacy that a mother shares with her child. That is the intimacy that God shares with us.
Tony, before that had used Psalm 39:11-13, and that went along with the poem above in an odd way. I’m not sure if it’s bad on me or not, it was a very judgmental poem, and probably unfairly so.
Psalm 39:11-13
You rebuke and discipline men for their sin; you consume their wealth like a moth – each man is but a breath Selah
“Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were. Look away from me, that I may rejoice again before I depart and am no more.”
I think maybe this message was meant to calm my anger at the operators of CFA. It worked; I went out with a great last day Friday. It was busy, but I enjoyed it, and I will miss the friends I have made there. After work, I finally made it over to Murray Hill Theater and bought my ticket for Cornerstone FL. I am psyched. I know a lot of people that will be there; from Jupiter: Carie, (her) Mom, Mar-C; and from Jacksonville: Lauren, Mike (plus Mike’s friends from Palm Bay, cool guys), Erika, Justin, um... I don’t know any more by name off the top of my head, but there are more. I’ve got my tent and sleeping bag already in my trunk, and my money is saving up for the Merch tables. I wish so many more people could go.
After getting my ticket, I went up to the Lighthouse (Youth group building) for a lock-in. I don’t remember much specifically, I was just hanging out with people; talking mostly. I hung out with Kathryn most of the time, but spent some time with Kara, Stephie, and Hunter after Kathryn went to sleep. After flipping out a few times I finally calmed down. I was really over-tired, and went crazy. I was just running around like a mad-man, breathing dangerously fast, and jumping around laughing. But I did calm down. By chance, there was a song playing that reminded me of a Twothirtyeight song, and so I pulled out my mp3 player to listen to it. I kept listening to Twothirtyeitght and headed downstairs to go to sleep.
When I got up in the morning, it was Rummage Sale time. I had thought that Steve had said something like only people that had signed up online could participate, but I think he meant that only the people signed up would split the earnings for the trips this summer. Either way, I wasn’t expecting anything for working. I went around taking pictures most of the day, after I had organized the electronics table. I hung out with Kathryn a lot too. I wish I knew her better. It makes me think now actually; people say they don’t know me, and I feel like I know them really well, and I don’t understand how they can not know me. I wish I wasn’t so mysterious and deeply hidden under a poetic facade.
Anyway, for some reason, I’m getting gradually sadder tonight. There aren’t really too many people to hang out with. My friends are all sleeping, at prom, or out already hanging out with other people. I’m getting depressed again. I don’t want to be. I’m going to go watch National Treasure now. I keep hearing it’s good, so I hope it is.
Okay. Wow! I just had a friend come to me and ask for advice and I think I did a good job on giving him some, which is really cool. I was kind of depressed earlier, but now I’m feeling like God’s working a lot of things out. I even advised my friend with a verse that Megan had given me, Thursday night. I had asked her if she’d write something in my journal before I started using it and she said she would, but I started using it before I could get my journal to her, so I left blank pages for her, and we just got together Thursday. Anyway, I think the verse means a lot more to me now, in a different way than she meant it I think. It’s Jeremiah 29:11 which says, “’For I know the plans I have for you;’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” My conversation with my friend tonight helped me to realize how important parents are in our lives. I still just want to thank the Lord; Megan has been such a blessing.
Okay, now I’m going to go watch the movie. Or possibly just fall asleep.
Thank you guys and sorry about the angry poems
Matt
No comments:
Post a Comment