Showing posts with label MySpace Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MySpace Blog. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Great Disappearing Act

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

The Final Chapter, The Final Blog
The Great Disappearing Act

07-29-07 (02:55)
I'm neither coming nor going
Like the waves in the sea
An endless ocean of glass
The window through which we gaze
To watch the time pass by
Never knowing uncertainty
The bottom's there
Even if we'll never see it
There's and end to everything
So even if we're drown out by the questions
The answers are there
At the very bottom of everything.

Time And Again
07-31-07 (22:04) (it's been a long time since I've named a poem)
I'm so tired of the headaches
The earaches
The sound
I'm fed up with toothaches
And waking to find my teeth on the ground
The heartache's taken it's toll
And I've paid my dues time and again
So here I'll tell you
So you'll know it's over
At the toll of the clock tower
And the chime of the bell
Don't call me back this time!
You've never returned my calls before
You couldn't prove your words true
Anymore than I could prove I didn't love you
But I've had enough
And it's going down in a blaze of glory
A magnificent glow
Burning bridges in the midnight moonlight
You'll know it's done
When you see the blaze so great
Even from your distant perch
You'll know it's done
You've failed to prove your words
And this is how you'll know it's done!

I'm tired of being so tired
Running myself
Wearing down and out
I'm tired of being worn out
So undress yourself from me
And find some other heart to wear
You've been naked and cold for so long
So long!
My heart has broken away from you
So far away!
Shattered by the chill of your ice-cold, frozen love
So distant
So silent
And so unwilling
So distant
So silent
I'm so glad...
To be moving on from you
I'm so glad...
No more hurting
I'll be moving on from you.
This time it's time
And I won't miss it again. (22:31)

08-01-07 (01:33)
You're the calm before the storm
And I can't take it anymore
Just hit already
Hit
And tear me to F*cking bits!
You're doing it anyway
So just get it
Over and done with
You have nothing to fear
Cause when you're done I won't be here
So just blow away every part of me
That ever loved every part of you


08-01-07 (13:32)
Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure ... what to do
I just let go
And it's all over the nightly news

You were the first
And I'm making you the last
If you can take that
Take that!
If you can take that
Take that promise you your grave
It'll never happen again

You missed out on what could've been
The greatest romance you were ever in
And I'm just letting you know that...
I'm just letting you know that it's over

Questions burning on my tongue
Answers dancing on my brain
Next time
Oh (what am I talking about?)
Next time
I'll make sure she doesn't have a problem
Opening her mouth and forming words
Dialing a number
Answering a phone
Standing up for what she loves
Next time
Oh (what am I talking about?)
Next time
There surely won't be one

You missed out on what could've been
The greatest romance you were ever in
And I'm just letting you know
I'm just letting you know that it's over

Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure .... what to do
I just let go
Yeah
I just let go of you.

08-01-07 (14:18)
(trying and failing to take a more accurate tone)
Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure ... what to do
I just let go
I just let go of you

She's been tell me
That I know
How she feels about it
And she said it sounds
Like I've finally made up my mind

It's been so quiet lately
So quiet all the time

You were the first
And I'm making you the last
Take that promise to your grave
I'll never happen again

I want someone cool and calm
Quite composed not overwhelmed
And when she can't take it
She's not afraid to ask for help
She doesn't have a problem talking
Even when she's far away
And she'll stand up to her parents
For this love she's not afraid


08-01-07 (14:38)
(going serious again, but failing to express in the end, like I start off on the right foot, but then get lost and distracted somewhere)
I really feel it on the inside
I really don't want to let go
But what am I holding on to?
What am I holding on to?
Heavy, something's fallen onto me
Weighing me down
Responsibility.
You said you had to prove me wrong
And I gave you your chance
I wanted you to win
But you can't
You've just proven me right again
You can't talk
I don't know why
But I know I can't stay silent
I have to stand up and fight
Someone out there wants what you've stolen from me
My heart, it's a valued treasure
And you can't seem to appreciate
I guarded it so well and gratefully handed it away
To someone who cared
But you're not her
And I need it back now
I won't be used as a backup plan to fall in love

08-01-07 (14:40)
Get busy living
Or get busy dying
I'm not waiting around for this

Currently listening :
Cover Your Eyes
By Sullivan
Release date: By 05 June, 2007
0 Comments - 0 Kudos

It won't last forever (Don't miss out) "Setting the Stage"

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Okay, so to catch up for the past month....

07-02-07 (01:30)

Oh I'm so tired
Having to watch the hero get the girl
Why can't they make the Real World
More like the life we know?
Cause I don't see the ending happily
I just see a nice guy
Trying to be (strong)
Getting strung along
And strangled by a leash
Like tug-o-war
But I'm fighting with a tree
Please
Just come out and say it
I hope you get
Everything you've ever wanted
But why can't you tell me
That I'm just your sturdy ground
When you fail to find anything else

07-03-07 (02:11)

I've decided
I'll never be lonely again
Never again
I'll accustom myself
To being on my own
And once I've accomplished the task
I'll never be lonely again
After that
I'll never be lonely
Only all alone!
But never lonely again
Never again.

Like taking the strongest drug
Over time
The dose isn't strong enough
And I'll phase it out
I'll where myself down
Like a pencil whose lead's run out
I'll scratch it all down
And carve it all out
Leaving hints in the softer stones
As to how I'll be living alone
And once I've accomplished the task
I'll never bee lonely again
I'll never be lonely
After that
I'll be on my own
Only all alone
But I'll never be lonely again
Never again

07-16-07 (01:17)

So call the bet on the weather report
There's been a disturbance in the news
This signals growing weaker
And all I can hear is how you're ready for...

Now the static's found its way in
Disrupting the peace you've been trying to find
The sound of silence
Has plucked my eyes from their sockets
And now it's singing me goodnight.

What is there left to prove?
Can you still question my doubt
I told you
I'll believe it when I see it
Or when I hear that sound

Now the static's found its way in
Disrupting the peace you've been trying to find
The sound of silence
Has plucked my eyes from their sockets
And now it's singing me goodnight.

How strong is the power of love?
A bond like nothing else could hold
A bond not easily broken
But silence...
Too bad you're feeling so alone!
Too bad Too bad
And I'm sorry
I know exactly how it feels
In time I escaped its shackles
But here you are
Trying to chain me again!
And I'm so sorry...
For you.

07-19-07 (13:18)
Maybe I'm not so afraid now
Dying alone
Alone isn't so bad anymore.

07-26-07 (18:13)
I forget she's an artist

07-26-07 (18:17)

I've become afraid of making mistakes
My writings have always been honest
Truth from my heart
I don't know what's true anymore.
How can I accuse?
Who has done wrong?
What have I made up?
What's true?
I forget.

07-26-07 (23:31)

I've forgotten
But I'll make it up to you
I've been blinded
And I've forgotten
How to open my eyes
Filling up with spiders
Howling moon tonight
My eyes are wired wide
And all I can see through these webs
Darkened skies
The vulgarities and
All the lies!

07-29-07 (02:55)
........
07-31-07 (22:04)
........
08-01-07 (01:33)
........

Well, I apologize for these next two. They are rather stupid and expressing parts of what I wanted to express, but not everything. I was listening to Cute Is What We Aim For at the time that I wrote them earlier today, and so I had this poppy emo tune in my head which did not allow me to express the wholeness of how I felt in the seriousness that I felt it. Anyway...

08-01-07 (13:32)

Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure ... what to do
I just let go
And it's all over the nightly news

You were the first
And I'm making you the last
If you can take that
Take that!
If you can take that
Take that promise you your grave
It'll never happen again

You missed out on what could've been
The greatest romance you were ever in
And I'm just letting you know that...
I'm just letting you know that it's over

Questions burning on my tongue
Answers dancing on my brain
Next time
Oh (what am I talking about?)
Next time
I'll make sure she doesn't have a problem
Opening her mouth and forming words
Dialing a number
Answering a phone
Standing up for what she loves
Next time
Oh (what am I talking about?)
Next time
There surely won't be one

You missed out on what could've been
The greatest romance you were ever in
And I'm just letting you know
I'm just letting you know that it's over

Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure .... what to do
I just let go
Yeah
I just let go of you.

I was trying to rewrite this with all the ideas that I wanted to express, but failed again. So here are the results of that failure.

08-01-07 (14:18)
Burning on the inside
Quiet on the outside
Not so sure ... what to do
I just let go
I just let go of you

She's been tell me
That I know
How she feels about it
And she said it sounds
Like I've finally made up my mind

It's been so quiet lately
So quiet all the time

You were the first
And I'm making you the last
Take that promise to your grave
I'll never happen again

I want someone cool and calm
Quite composed not overwhelmed
And when she can't take it
She's not afraid to ask for help
She doesn't have a problem talking
Even when she's far away
And she'll stand up to her parents
For this love she's not afraid

I then tried not rewriting, but that failed as well. So here is that failure. I just couldn't express all that I wanted to. I keep going of to different things. It's like I start off on the right foot, but then get lost and distracted somewhere.

08-01-07 (14:38)

I really feel it on the inside
I really don't want to let go
But what am I holding on to?
What am I holding on to?
Heavy, something's fallen onto me
Weighing me down
Responsibility.
You said you had to prove me wrong
And I gave you your chance
I wanted you to win
But you can't
You've just proven me right again
You can't talk
I don't know why
But I know I can't stay silent
I have to stand up and fight
Someone out there wants what you've stolen from me
My heart, it's a valued treasure
And you can't seem to appreciate
I guarded it so well and gratefully handed it away
To someone who cared
But you're not her
And I need it back now
I won't be used as a backup plan to fall in love

08-01-07 (14:40)
Get busy living
Or get busy dying
I'm not waiting around for this

Currently listening :
Cover Your Eyes
By Sullivan
Release date: By 05 June, 2007
0 Comments - 0 Kudos

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Coming Soon!

Blog from MySpace.

Category: Blogging

Hey,

I feel like writing...
I feel very inspired...
I'm just not sure if I can get it out...
We'll see.
Hopefully I'll be posting some new poems soon.

1 Comments - 0 Kudos

Jesus loves the HELL outta you!!

I'll be glad to see them. Have Fun in J'Ville!

Posted by Jesus loves the HELL outta you!! on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 11:37 PM

VISIT!!!!! (You want to see this, TRUST ME!)

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: Lost In Thought...
Category: Travel and Places

So, I will FINALLY be making my way back to Jacksonville, Orange Park,.... ETC.

I believe Thursday, July 19th, is Warped Tour. Anyway, if Austin picked up a ticket for me, I'll be going, whenever it is.
Party Saturday for Brianna, coming home from France. Yippee!!!!
(I'm gonna give you a great big bear hug and never let go!)
I'll be leaving Sunday.

So.
Friday is my entirely free day (so far... probably a swing night too...)... And Austin's birthday... (I should bring my unicycle)
Well, call me now, and start trying to arrange things, I'm sure plans will change once I get there, but I will try to get some time with you if you call me up.
I can't offer whole days, but lunch or dinner and an hour or two to hang out maybe.
Call me!
Can't wait to see everyone. Especially Brainna!!!
(Oh, I think, I get to stay at the Webbs again. Thank God for them, they are so amazing. They have blessed me so much with their love and caring and open doors.)

CALL ME!!!!!

Currently listening :
Catch for Us the Foxes
By mewithoutYou
Release date: By 05 October, 2004

2 Comments - 4 Kudos


Blossoming Orchid

Yay i so happy yopur comming, ok so i have known when it is that you are comming for a while. but yay. im so excited right now :D i just cant wqait to see Brianna, oh and i am moving to southside like this weekend :) Yay. anyways cant wait to see you when you come. ~kay

Posted by Blossoming Orchid on Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 5:46 PM


Brianna

I didn't see the unicycle. I'm so glad you were here though. I've missed you Matt!

Posted by Brianna on Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 12:59 PM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Birthday Party!!!!!!!!!!

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

I'm sorry everyone... (not that too many of you are in Jacksonville)

But I will NOT make it to Murray Hill Theatre for Swing Dancing on my Birthday...

I love you all, and miss you very much...

But I am WAY more than broke at the moment.

I'm not working a whole lot...
My roommate is moving out next week
So I will be paying rent by myself come next month... (maybe not though....)
Gas... (need I say more?)
Anyway... Money's really REALLY tight....

I really want to move back to Jacksonville... I miss life there...
And I can't wait for one of you to get home from France!!!!

So anyway... I have these EXCITING plans for my birthday....
.....
....
dinner with my family....
(yippee....) :-(
What a wonderful birthday....
Oh well... I suppose it could be worse...

Currently listening :
Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest
By As Cities Burn
Release date: By 21 June, 2005

3 Comments - 0 Kudos

Blossoming Orchid

thats sad, i was hoping that you would be here, but yeah i totally understand the money thing. oh well you have to come to jax soon enough anyways, i mean Bri is comming back. so now you have something to look forward to. :)

Posted by Blossoming Orchid on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 4:11 AM


Brianna

Awwwww! You won't be there when I get back? Well, I geuss it's ok, I know I'll see you at some point when I get back! Love you Matt!

Posted by Brianna on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 5:56 AM


quig the joker

Look at it in a differnt view through these trials you have a chance to grow spirtually open a new chapter and doors and while its hard missing home just remember were ever we rome is temporary get amessage going with me talk to me I'll be your accountablity partner I'm worried your always so up beat livly but lately that seems to be missing you have my number pick up and call I not pysically worried but spirtually and with that I go

Posted by quig the joker on Saturday, June 16, 2007 at 4:57 PM

A letter to prove it... I deserve BETTER!!!!

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life

Well a friend (a WONDERFULLY GREAT friend) recently sent me a message. This isn't all of it... but most of it.

Matt,
I'm worried about you. We havn't talked, or e-mailed, for qutie awhile and the blogs that you've been posting lately seem more than just discouraged or lonesome. I hate the idea that your feeling so down, but I don't know what I can do to make you feel better. KNow that I love you and I'm here for you, if you need me. ... I will drop everything and talk with you. I don't like you feeling this way, Mathew. You shouldn't be, your to good of a guy. Please call me. I want to hear from you...And I wouldn't mind knowing how Tiger Lilly is doing either. :)!
I love you lots

This just made me think... something that I was just thinking while driving up here to my mom's office.

Friends always have enough time to care...

So this just helps to support what I've been thinking... that I am so much better than the demons that I've been fighting.
The demons don't care about me...
They don't respond to me when I cry out... left out... alone... drained of all life...
They are the ones sucking the life out of me...
And I've been letting them...

And so as I was saying in my last blog...

I AM DONE!!!!
I am DONE with you demons!!!
I'm sick and tired of bowing to you're weakness...
And accepting your "love" as the best I deserve...
I deserve so much more than you...
Hate from my friends shows more caring than the "love" that you claim to have for me.

I will not be drown by this anymore...
You will leave me alone!!!
Because I am DONE!!!!

Currently listening :
Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest
By As Cities Burn
Release date: By 21 June, 2005

3 Comments - 4 Kudos

Blossoming Orchid

im glad that your letting go and leaving your demons, because you really are great and you diserve the best.

Posted by Blossoming Orchid on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 4:06 AM


Brianna

I'm glad your leaving "them" behind and I like the tone of this blog better. And I can't wait to see you soon!

Posted by Brianna on Thursday, June 14, 2007 at 5:54 AM


Catharine

So, should I start with asking how are you??? It's been a really long time but I still read your blogs when I sign in to myspace and check up on how you are doing. What's new with you?? If you have a chance drop me a message and catch me up on your life.

Take it easy, Catharine

Posted by Catharine on Monday, July 02, 2007 at 9:48 PM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Is Done Good Enough??? What you wanted???

Blog from MySpace. Current mood:  pissed off Category: Life

I'm done!!!!! It's OVER!!!!! I'm not putting up with it. I've been trying and trying... The prayers that I rarely pray keep hitting the ceiling... New Strategy. Pray more often... then... when the ceiling isn't there... some will go through. And that's it... I'm done!!! DONE WITH YOU!!!! You asked for it... You've begged for it... You tried to cover it... You should've seen this coming... You did it to yourself...



Currently listening : Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest By As Cities Burn Release date: By 21 June, 2005

1 Comments - 0 Kudos

quig the joker

what ever your done with you must keep in mind your best interest aren't always gods best interest and here it bowls down to a matter of the heart until you are ever to ask with your heart set on him and only him but remeber he knowevery thought every intention on your mind but those may not be his thoughts and intentions for you for I have plans declares the lord plans to prosper you plans to give you hope hope this helps

Posted by quig the joker on Tuesday, June 12, 2007 at 8:08 AM

Friday, June 8, 2007

Splitting means one leaves another

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: rejected
Category: Life


I have a headache...

I'm tired...

I'm really feeling quite lonely...

And people care... they're just not the people I really want to care...

And I'm gonna go home...

Where I will be alone...

See ya later... (but probably not)

Currently listening :
Cover Your Eyes
By Sullivan
Release date: By 05 June, 2007

3 Comments - 0 Kudos

Jesus loves the HELL outta you!!

Dude, I hate that you feel this way. I've been there....and visit often enough. If you need anything, just holler. I luv ya man! Next time I get down there we gotta get together. Stay straight

Posted by Jesus loves the HELL outta you!! on Saturday, June 09, 2007 at 1:22 AM


quig the joker

Matt hate you feel like that man get some sleep another beautiful day lies ahead

Posted by quig the joker on Saturday, June 09, 2007 at 12:48 PM


This Profile No Longer Exists

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Be a Man About It!

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: Gotta Go... (potty!!!)
Category: Writing and Poetry

Okay, so I know the ending's a bit cheesy... but I still like the whole idea... It just might need some ironing.

Be a Man About It!
06-01-07 (18:32)

Maybe it's too simple
I've been in a childlike state-of-mind
But now you've got me thinking like what a man should be
And it's got my stomach turning
Over and over
It's got me sleeping less
And dreaming horrors
And oh, Dear,
You know I love you to death
But this way you've got me thinking
Has got me thinking we're better off dead

I wrote the story
And this is how it goes
I'll hold you close my love
I don't wanna die lonely
But when the sea starts spilling
Over the sides of the boat
Leave me to drown, Baby
I can hit rock bottom alone.

I've been spending all my days
With a tired old man
He doesn't think much of conversation
But the calluses on his hand 'll show you
He's been shoveling mud
For a lifetime or two
And his words are carefully chosen
And properly spoken.
I think he's trying to tell me
About what a man should be
And this way he's got me thinking
Has got me digging for life vests
Watch out how fast...
We're going down!

I wrote the story
And this is how it goes
I'll hold you close my love
I don't wanna die lonely
But when the sea starts spilling
Over the sides of the boat
Leave me to drown, Baby
I can hit rock bottom alone.

But this way you've got me thinking
It's got my stomach churning like the sea
And my elderly friend stopped speaking
He's just staring blankly at me
Was it something I said?
Was it something I did?
Was it a choice that I made?
I built a lifeboat out of this sinking ship
And I'll show you what a real man should be

I chose the story
And this is how we're going
I'll hold you close with passion
We're not gonna die my lovely
And when the angered sea starts spilling
Over the sides of this boat
Just leave it to me, Baby
I'm keeping this ship afloat.
(19:24)


And if anyone hasn't noticed that I've been listening to Chasing Victory a bit lately... They have a new CD out called "Fiends." It's a bit short, but it is a GREAT CD!
And don't forget Sullivan's new CD "Cover Your Eyes" out this Tuesday.
Grab it. It sounds awesome from what I've heard online.

Currently listening :
Fiends
By Chasing Victory
Release date: By 08 May, 2007

2 Comments - 2 Kudos

Blossoming Orchid

I really like this one Matt, even the ending ;)

Posted by Blossoming Orchid on Saturday, June 02, 2007 at 9:39 PM


This Profile No Longer Exists

Sullivan "Cover Your Eyes"

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood: CAN'T WAIT!!!!!
Category: Music

Hey Everyone -

SULLIVAN is releasing a new album this Tuesday, JUNE 5TH. They have written an amazing record and everyone should go pick up a copy this Tuesday!

Be sure to check out their page and listen to some of the great tracks, produced by the infamous James Paul Wisner (Underoath, Dashboard Confessional, Paramore, etc.). And check them out on the road right now with MXPX and all summer with tons of other great bands!!!

VISIT THEM HERE!!!
..


Be a part of SULLIVAN'S MySpace takeover! Just create your own bulletin and blog and let all your friends know who Sullivan is!
Currently listening :
Cover Your Eyes
By Sullivan
Release date: By 05 June, 2007
0 Comments - 0 Kudos