Sit silent, my heart...

More poetry to catch up on...

12/25/07 (03:56)
All the world
Comes crashing like the waves
Rising against
And pulling away.
I've come to taking surprises
Much better than this twitchy exterior would display
But it's the calluses...
It's the soft touch that gives me away!

It's coming apart
All the world
Unraveling and raveling again
Faces changing
Time taking it's toll
But I seem to just be standing still
Sober and unnoticed
Forgotten
As love sets loose its vengeance upon the world

Oh so small
Such a tiny part
And yet it seems so far
Oh so small
Such an insignificant thought
But I really couldn't do anything

You wanted a Savior
But I am a sheep for the slaughter
Fuel for the fire
A moon to brag of the glorious Son (sun)
I've been made from the faithful
But far from the graceful
I'm a stone for the sinking
Not skimming along.

And as the world closes around me
The waves so refined
What gaps open for air
Close in a moment like fire
The whole world is crashing
So let's stop for a moment to think...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Well, I think it's time you decide
You're completely free to choose
But I can't wait for you.
All the world is crashing
I can't wait for you (my catalyst)
I've plans to make for rebuilding
(finished 04:30)

"Sit Silent"
12/26/07 (04:25)
Sit silent
Let the violence come to you
If love is to be war
Let the violence come to you
As she holds your heart over the flame
Kept locked in eternal threat of breaking.

If love is to be war,
Sit silent
Let the violence come to you.

I've been waiting on this night
The Eve of battle sits
Frozen in time!
I've been hanging from this line
And the question goes uncalled
Is this what you call love?
Is this...
What you call...
It doesn't matter what you say about it any longer
I've lost the nerve to hold
Let loose a nervous cry
This is the final night!
Tomorrow...
We Fight!

We've been waiting
We haven't slept in ages
But I'll lift my tired eyes
It's time we put an end to this
(sit silent...)

01/07/08
One step further seems so far away
You seem so far away
Oh I forget
You are so far away
So distant you've forgotten all about me
One step further seems to never (come)
Oh! One step further
Seems forever!
Forever
(idea I had while thinking about the name of a band called Further Seems Forever)

01/10/08 (05:21)
Chances running out
Moments counting down
This fire's growing ever fainter
The sands are snuffing out
Grandfather's days are winding down
But I'm fighting on to the last!

Every second counts
Closer and closer to the end
Means it's drawing nearer to begin
Everything, OH! Everything
I've ever dreamed
And this is all I can offer

It's not hopeless,
But perhaps some hope will do instead
It wasn't dreaming
But it's never ever dead
Just see it (I pray)
Just see me...
You'll see everything you gave
And I'll catch you
To stop your falling
Falling hopeless
Everyone deserves a change.

Write
01/10/08 (05:36)
Write it down
Over & Over
Write it down
Wear it out
It's deep inside
Just keep writing
It has to surface eventually
The words aren't right now
But maybe tomorrow
Just write it down
We'll sort it out one day
When every last word's been spent.
Just get it said
You'll never have another chance to dig for this
So write it down
Over & Over
Write it out
It's bound to sink into
the paper
the pen
the ink
or spiral-bound sheets
It's bound to be here
It's everywhere
Just look for me.
Love is waiting
So write it down.

My Heart
01/16/08 (05:58)
I know it matters not what I say
And you don't care what I do.
But believe me when I say "This is real"
Oh, it doesn't matter what you feel.

If you could open your eyes
To see inside
You'd see what I see
When you sigh
It doesn't matter if you believe
You can't steal your heart away from me.

I've got it here
Under 'lock and key'
You can't see
Mine's the heart you're giving away.

Currently listening : And the Rest Will Follow By Project 86 Release date: 27 September, 2005

Currently listening: Rival Factions By: Project 86 Release date: 19 June, 2007

harder, better faster, stronger

Work it harder
Make it better
Do it faster
Makes us stronger.

More than ever
Hour after hour
Work is never over.

~ Daft Punk ~
:-)
You must see: Interstella 5555
The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem.

Third Friday!

...You're still with Stupid... :-)

A Forgotten State

Okay, so it's been a long time, and here's the proof. 

Don't expect much of anything good. I haven't written much that I thought was good in quite some time. 

ALL NEW!!! Well, none of these have been posted ever before, but that doesn't make them "new." My last blog posted was August first, so this is all stuff you probably haven't seen. 

08/05/07 (11:25)
I make it up as I go
I go along
Surrounded by friends not meant
To take my hand
So I make it up as I go
As I go alone.  

08/10/07 (01:09)
After all of the years
Spoken in silence
We did all that we could
We had to find it
They told us
"Dig it out! Dig it out!
You must find it!
And when you do
It'll make us look righteous
It'll make us"
They said
(And I found myself selfish)
We found the black depths
The corners of the human heart
But what makes me any better
When we've all been set apart
How can we fight a common enemy
When we're standing upon one another
I've sold my blade to the back of my brother.
Dig it out! Dig it out!
After all they've told us
I'm afraid they'd have sold us
It'll make us all righteous
But I just want you behind us.
I want your evil
Knocking on my doors no more.
No more rattling my windows
The blinds are closed to you.
My heart is closed
And after all that we've earned
Won't you come home
Won't you come home
We've spared nothing on designing
Your room is oh so inviting
And after all that we've earned
All that we've earned.
Isn't this more precious than the kindest heart?
We "The Murdered" don't have the fight to stop
So fill your pockets with gold
Line the streets
Go pave your roads
Line the streets
Go pave your roads
And after all that we've earned
Won't you come home?
Come home?
Come home?
And after all that we've...
Didn't we make it home
Is it not enough for you?
Didn't we make it home
For you?
Am I not merciful?
Am I not merciful?
Am I not so caught up in
Making my world
Perfect for you to
Feel right at home
Am I not merciful?
That I let you live
As a guest in my house
Am I not too generous?
Am I not merciful?
Have I not made this home?
After all that we've earned
With our hearts so cold
After all that we've earned
What have we done?
What have we really done?
(01:31 finished) 

08/12/07 (03:00) I'm depressed So what It's just a minor set back You'll never know about it. I'm alone You don't care You know all about it And it's no concern of yours. What reason do I have? It's still just a minor set back What's reason got to do with it? Just think it out? Maybe logically you'll fix yourself? No, this isn't right The ground shouldn't hold My focus tonight But I'm better off without you Than all alone I'm better off without you So maybe I'm a little depressed Don't bother asking (It's not like you) I'll sort it out And I'll be done with (you) I'm going to sort it out No, this isn't right The ground shouldn't hold My focus tonight But I'm better off without you Than all alone I'm better off without you Than on my own Y-O-U are (Why? Oh, you are) Spells liar L-I-A-R Spells friend If you care to keep friends, honestly You should try to give them honesty But since you don't really care L - O - V - E You shouldn't have to lie so quietly No, this isn't right The ground shouldn't hold My focus tonight But I'm better off without you And on my own I'd rather be without you Than all alone. And yeah, it's a bit depressing But you'll never know about it If you don't care That's fine I'll never talk about it I shouldn't There's no reason there So I'll stare at the floor Keep my eyes on the door But I know you're not coming back And this hurts twice as much As it did before. (03:41 finished) 

 08/14/07 (09:58) Weigh out your accomplishments // And I'll set mine // High upon this scale // So unattainable // Built by human hands // To tell the glory of // All the things we've done. // So set aside the scale // Tell us of how righteous you are // Stand firm, and oh so proud // Preaching on all the wrongs you've overcome. // Oh so proud // Is this humbling yourself? //I'll never know // But I'll see you in Hell // Our just 'deserts' // Measured by the scales // Weighing in below the bar // Don't tell me what you think you know // I've dealt with this before // And not even I know // What destruction I deserve. (10:31 finished)  

Affairs of the State 08/27/07 (09:07)

Listening: Circa Survive "The Difference Between Medicine and Poison Is In the Dose"

Tearing at the seams I'm unraveling The hinges no longer squeak As I glide in and out of my frame, My place of belonging It's only just a state A forgotten state of mind Oh, but back to the hinges, If you will They've come undone And the frame has begun it's decay A long slow process It keeps me from going insane But isn't that only just a state? A forgotten state of mind I'll try it again I'll try it again Maybe just one more time I'll write it down again Don't ever change a thing But expect the results won't be the same Over and over again It's a long slow process To keep me from going insane But I think it's done I think it's over I traveled beyond the map's end And what did I find? What did I lose? Where are we going as we dance over rooftops And ally ways Deserted beaches And infinite space But I forget It's only just a state And I'm only a state away 

(wow, I didn't write anything for a month... and this really isn't much...)  

09/28/07 (4 in the MORNING!) Grab that phone, keep it close, Wouldn't want to miss a call from whomever you love the most... 

Play Station 10/22/07 (04:24) I'm lonely But it's not just any company I need it's burning My heart, my eyes My twiddled thumbs aside. (I've) Got what it takes It's gonna take you outta here Got what it takes I've got the 'X's and 'O's Love triangles Empty sheets and empty beats Counting down to one-way streets Dead ends going down on me At the cul-de-sac Where I wanna be Round and round I know that it's right there But of all the shapes I'm playing Only option Left And I'm a square. (after watching the Wedding Crashers, idea was from the PlayStation video game controller) 

11/02/07 (22:41) Keep your eyes open Oh! Have you been searching? Keep an eye out for me. Focus your eyes upon yourself! Focus your eyes... Your eyes so far away. Keep your eyes open OH! Have you been searching? Keep an eye out for me! Focus on yourself! Focus on your Hell! Sit down Slow the heart beats Calm yourself Breathe... Breathe... Deep!  

11/28/07 (01:26)
Traffic's at a stand-still
Don't you close your eyes
Don't you want to know how this began?
Everything that ends...
Every ending...
Everything that ends...
... Begins
THIS IS A SHIPWRECK!!!  

Black Friday 11/20/07 (21:47) This day is black // but it burns... // This day is black // The sun burns my eyes // As it rises // above the crowds // ...look down // The passers-by. // The witnesses to my demise. //The leeches... // The leeches to feed off the flies.  

12/09/07 (21:52) The thought dances across my mind // Like a smooth stone // On a glassy pond // But then it sinks down... into blackness. // "I hope I don't die" // It comes, // Faster than it is forgotten // Because the black thoughts haunt me // That I really didn't mean it.  

12/09/07 (22:00) The thought dances across my mind // Like a polished stone // On a glassy surface // But then it sinks down... // Into the crushing blackness. // "I hope I don't die" // It comes fast, but is hardly forgotten // In oblivion it stirs and echoes // Haunting me // Because I really don't mean it.  

12/19/07 (19:53) So afraid What happens to me? So afraid Of what happens to be... The hardest thing Is knowing how to love Knowing what love is And when it's the proper moment to shine. And so the question will arise What is love? Okay, I'm tired. I'll get the rest caught up later. This is more than enough to hold you over... Probably way too much... Thank you if you read all the way down to here.

Currently listening : Love Is for the Rich By Surrogate Release date: 28 August, 2007

Currently listening : Polarity By The Wedding Release date: 17 April, 2007

Bad Habits (Sleeping Habits)

These have probably been posted before, sorry.
Don't expect much of anything that's very good.


Expressions Like Stained Glass
7/29/2007 (02:55)

I'm neither coming nor going
Like the waves in the sea
An endless ocean of glass
The window through which we gaze
To watch the time pass by
Never knowing uncertainty
The bottom's there
Even if we'll never see it
There's an end to everything.
So even if we're drown out by the questions
The answers are there
At the very bottom of everything.


6/12/07 (03:05)

Just as the shadows begin to grow
Right when your stomach starts to turn
Just as the night creeps through my window
You better believe
I'm coming to life!

I wanna die!
I wanna die!
I can't sleep at night!

They've started the countdown
Long ago
But it's already gotten so close.
I'm not as young as I once was
But I'm still hoping
Praying I won't grow up like you!

So truthful,
So honest,
So full of lies,
The sickness infects you.
So innocent,
So peaceful,
So harmless,
So painful!

As much as I love (you)
I pray I'm never like you!
I never meant to hurt you
It wasn't intended
I apologized
I only ever loved you
But now you're tearing up my heart
And I can see the light in your eyes!
So Joyous
So gleaming
So ablaze with pleasure
(At) Breaking my heart
What are you waiting for?
I come
Broken and bleeding
Trying to show you love
But you gorge yourself
You keep eating and eating
I'll never satisfy you.
And it'll be too late
Before too soon
That you realize what you've done.
(03:20 finsihed)

6/19/2007 (16:30)

So much time
So much money
So much effort
WASTED!...
The only think I learned
Is that
If you open your heart
They will break it.
So much love
And she couldn't even thank me
She just got mad
Cause she couldn't admit she was lying (to me)
Through gritted teeth
Because she was fooling herself
When no one believed
She couldn't survive on her own.

Reach out
Find those loving arms
Hold close that loving heart
So full of sickness
But at least you won't feel the pain alone
When you're hiding behind all your friends.
So just reach out
You've found the loving arms
Shes' only useful
As long as she's a trainwreck
And messed up more than you
But she doesn't love you
She only wants what you have
A love so bright and blinding
It cures all of the past
But you're painting it black
And telling yourself to forget.

God wants to heal your heart
But you can't let go of all the pain that you've felt
Just let him heal you
I only wanted to love you...
But I can't even succeed at that.
But I don't think it's my fault.
You just wanted to forget your pain
So maybe it was just a game
To you.

Hurting people hurt people.
Even the ones they love.
Hurting people hurt people.
Mainly the ones they love.
Misery loves company
So won't you stop pulling me down
And start healing yourself
Because it's not my fault
That you've turned your back on Love.
(16:45 finished)

6/30/2007 (01:32)

In this dry and weary world
You're the clouds and rain that brighten my days
Lighten my load
And paint a smile on my face.
With you I'm not alone,
Without you I've got a hope.

Perhaps... :-)

Tonight is the night.



I just have to eventually get online before passing out.

But anyway, I had a lot of fun hanging out with Don tonight. It's nice to hang out with someone.

Multimedia message

Hi
Just starting to use the Mobile Blogger feature.

So yep, it's coming from my phone. The wonderful Nokia N75.

MySpace Comment from the LOVEABLE Melanie.

I had to delete this comment from my MySpace page for some confusing reason...
So I'm reposting it here... Cause I wanted to keep it.

She originally sent it to me as a comment on my MySpace Page on
August 21, 2007 11:59 AM