SO EXCITED!!! :-)

The Myriad is up first! :-) yay!!!
I know, it's a crappy picture, but it's the drums and the keyboard on the right side. :-)

When A Tree Falls In The Forest...

So... Yeah...
"When a tree falls in the forest... You'll get three stories... Yours, Mine, and the Tree's." ~Hoodwinked~

So here goes. I've only been seeing my side of everything.

I typed a blog a couple... maybe just a little over a week ago, I'm not sure...

The blog about Melanie and Me, and our relationship, and how I thought Jess came along and ruined everything.

I must sincerely apologize. I finally talked to Jessica, who has a very wonderful voice to listen to, and she is SOOO super nice, and it seems that Melanie has been lying.

I'm not sure of all the details, but I guess Melanie's telling everyone that I raped her when she was drunk, and I don't know what she says this last year has been, but we were ABSOLUTELY NOT in a relationship??? I don't know... I've never even seen Melanie drink... at least not that I knew of anyway.

The details are still coming in... but I just want to post this to clear things up about Jessica.
She is a very nice girl, and I feel so bad because she called me the other day, and I told her my side of the story of what went on with Melanie, and she just started crying... I felt so bad... :-(

I'm sorry that I ever said anything mean about her. She is not at all the person that I thought she was.
I really don't know what Melanie's been up to... or what she's been saying... but it's obvious why she won't talk to anyone down here anymore... (even though in January she wanted to come visit whenever she might be able to save up the money)... I really don't know what's wrong, but I am sorry about what I have said about Jessica. It was all based on what I could see, and I wasn't seeing her at all...

And also, I am very worried about Melanie... I don't know what's wrong... or why she'd say such terrible things about me. I'm not terribly concerned about what she's saying about me... it's not true, so I'm not worried about any of that, I'm just worried about what is causing her to say it. What went wrong?
I don't want to ruin things in there relationship because I told the truth... but... Jess is looking for the truth, and getting two different stories...

But Jessica seems like a WONDERFUL person (and as I said, she has the greatest voice :-) and I really hate that she's having to go through all this...

I just wanted to be a friend... I didn't want to hurt her... but if Melanie's not being honest... am I hurting her or is Melanie??? I just feel like I'm causing the pain...

I'm sorry Jess... I'm really sorry.

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I already ordered one (for whenever I might need it)... Crazy Me :-) as always.

So sad they broke up... :-[

Offer good until March 28th.



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Look at what I found :- ] (So awesome!!!)

Thinking of Silence...

I feel like...

I feel too much... sometimes I wish I was just...
I just want to go... that's what I want...
I just want to go and not look back.
GONE!
That's what I want. :-)

I feel homesick...
But I've been at home plenty. I guess I just feel like something's missing.
Did I already tell you about that?

I'm tired of life being mundane... I'm tired of not having someone to run out with and have fun with... riding my bike around the park is great... but it would be better if I wasn't doing it alone...
I don't know...
I just want... home...
That's what I want...

I've been thinking for a couple days...
I've gotten too loud...
I noticed this when I was talking to a friend, and whenever I tried to add my input about the topic, they just kept talking and enforcing their opinion.

I love this friend, but this really aggravated me... I have an opinion too!!!
My words count for something... I'm important too!!!

But...
Since everyone always seems to have so much to say...
Perhaps it is best if I just stick to silence.

If I was talking with them... then no one would be around to listen...

So... Just forget how I feel... Remember:

You have a voice.
You have every right to be heard.
And I will listen.
But don't ask for my opinion, because I've decided to hold it in.
I'll just keep posting all my inner thoughts
Here where people never listen.
Where you can never hear the words...
Because every little one is written.
And I'll keep screaming and singing and dancing
Here where no one ever hears my opinion.
So just sit still and think about it...
Sit still and LISTEN!!!

Word of the Day

This was cool... First I wrote the poem, and then this to confirm it... :-)
So I wrote it down...

Dictionary.com Word of the Day
03/10/08

inchoate \in-KOH-it\, adjective:
1. In an initial or early stage; just begun.
2. Imperfectly formed or formulated.

This is the definition that caught my eye, and then I went to the page to get the full definitions above.
partly but not fully in existence or operation.

And there you have it.
Perfect Eh?! :-)

Currently listening: Made of Bricks By: Kate Nash Release date: 08 January, 2008

Starting Off (first steps in new shoes)

New Poem (song?) :-)
Hot off the pad.
First poem in the new notepad. First anything in the new pad, except important addresses and notes that I keep in the back.
Here we Go!!!

Growing Pains
03/10/08

Maybe all the pain
It might not be a broken heart
It's just that all you had before
Was never good enough
Hope!
You breathe it in
The fresh air expands your lungs
And just like when you fall and scrape your knees
It's never that you're broken
Your feet just aren't big enough to fill your shoes.

But it's okay a-ya-eh? a-ya-eh?!
There's nothing out of place
You're exactly who you are
And that's all you'll ever need
To be a star!
And it's okay a-ya-eh? a-ya-eh?!
There's nothing wrong with us
We're just two of a kind
We're doing fine
And we'll fit in someday soon
Someday soon

So maybe it's not a broken heart
We weren't made for broken parts
You're just not there yet
But you're growing fast
And we'll fit in someday soon
Someday soon

Time is on your side
There couldn't be a brighter light
It's just like you said (when you said)
"It isn't you" at all
We're just waiting out the fall
Spring will come
It's not far off
Just keep being strong [?being/staying/holding?]
Always keep in mind
A fire starts
From on little spark
And you've just gotta wait your turn

And it's okay a-ya-eh? a-ya-eh?!
There's nothing out of place
You're exactly who you are
And that's all you'll ever need
To be a star
Well, it's okay a-ya-eh? a-ya-eh?!
We burn brightest in the dark
It's not that ev'rything's gone wrong
You're just not done
You'll see,
The best is yet to come
Someday soon
(08:50)

Currently watching: No Reservations Release date: 12 February, 2008

Final Pages

No Final Farewell
03/04/08 (23:53)
We get along
Yeah!
We get along
Just like they said we would
(Like a house on fire)
I was listening to the
White Stripes' "Icky Thump"
Which left a craving for Modest Mouse
And you know how that goes
When "I think I know my geometry pretty damn well!"
But I still can't focus on anything
Perhaps there should be rules against
Half a page
And then a page further in

[cont. 03/05/08 (03:54)]

If everything I am
Everything I never was
All that could have been
We poured onto these pages
All that was ever worth
Anything within me
Spilled onto these pages
Like blood to sign
The final farewell
And maybe "Goodbye" is what this has become
Singing songs, rewriting words
But every last idea
Everything I never was
Has slipped away again.
I've slipped again
Back into the depths
The abyss that never was
But always will be
Everything within
That never made it out
Every cry that never...
Nothing is familiar now

How is it that we come to this
And yet, we have nothing to say
No farewell
No friendly goodbye
Simply...
The ever familiar silence
Ah! I remember now
You are familiar
But it's time now
Time for you to leave
The pen, the ink, the veins are dry
And the pages are to their last
So this never was & is no more.

[finished 03/05/08 (04:13)]

Endless Circles... Redundant? (Perhaps)