2020-10-19 0407
I can't sleep and I feign to call it grief. Just imagine what his family is feeling. I can't. I hope to call his parents and it terrifies me to think that the call might be more to comfort myself and will actual cause his parents more pain.
A simple prayer
In my nightmare
Is that this conversation
Won't be more (comfort) to me
Than it is (disruptive) to you
Cause I can't sleep
And my night's stare
Locked on the ceiling
Thinking of all that you endure
There's nothing I could say or do
And calling only serves to prove
That my temporary fits of grief
Are just a thimble in your boiling seas
My discomfort and my dis-ease
Nothing to a parents need
To hold their son again
I can hardly pretend to understand
And it's so unfair
That we call for peace
In your hour of grief
And we won't relent
No time to breathe
And my simple prayer
In this nightmare
Is that my call for peace
Won't cause you grief
Because despite my love
He wasn't my son
So I pray
The Lord
Bless you and keep you
In joy everlasting
Because I have nothing helpful to say
And maybe one day
You'll forgive my intrusion
The greatest of my sins
Disturbing the grief begins again
