I don't know what to say, but I don't WANT to say anything

Blog from when I was using MySpace.

Current mood: depressed

I really, honestly, just wanted to give up on God this morning. I got to school, and felt completely lost. In my first class (about 09:10 Eastern Time) I wrote a couple things on the back of my left hand. "All I want," "We have our beliefs," and mewithoutYou. In my second class (about 2 hrs. and 50 mins. later) I wrote this, after the soda machine denied me all of 3 different Sprites, and then the Powerade machine wouldn't accept my dollar, but it was probably sold out too... most of the machines usually are as I've found. Maybe it's the fact that the soda machine was completely sold out, even though I only mashed three buttons. Perhaps the fact that I was stuck behind a slow-moving truck on the way to school. The cafeteria is closed, getting ready for lunch. It'll probably open as soon as this class starts. Well that'd be just my luck. I started this notepad with such sad hope, it's a shame to end it with a desire to give up on my life. It's not worth living. Perhaps I try to hard to gain people's interest in my life. It really isn't that interesting. Sure, they tell me the poetry's great, and some of it is, but the truth is that it gets old. There is nothing new or refreshing. It's all just trying to express an idea with new words. Over and over again. Trying and trying, sometimes succeeding, more often failing. There's nothing personal about any of these classes. I don't know anyone. I know names and faces, but I have no friends, not even aquaintences. And then class started, so I stopped writing. But I could go on (gas prices hit $3.00 a gallon here and show no sign of stopping until maybe $3.20 if we're lucky {I know some of you have it worse already}). Lauren has a couch (that makes me smile briefly). "Your Face Here" upon my 'cardiogenic fragmentation' with love Matthew (Mahi) E. Currently listening : Composure By Waking Ashland Release date: 10 May, 2005