The Undefined Opposite of InfinitelyMany

There are those times when you just want to be around someone. It doesn't matter if you're watching Stupid Reality TV or watching her wash dishes or prepare dinner. I'm scared to write about her in this way. It makes it real to the world, I suppose. I'm not worried about... I don't know... :-) But, how about this...

You know how sometimes you want to say "this is..." And then you realize what you're trying to say is a word that you're not sure exists. Tonight I was going to say to a small dog, meet... (the big dog). I could say to the big dog "Ranger, meet dinner." But how do you tell the small dog "Pebbles, meet 'the opposite of dinner'" What's the opposite of dinner?
So... I can't tell you what I'm not worried about it. I know what I'm not worried about, but it's the implied, but undefined opposite of my worries. :-)

Ineffable! It was just on tv, and I think it's the perfect word. I could be wrong though. I don't have my dictionary and can't look it up right now.

Anyway, I AM worried about having feelings for her and admitting them. I mean, she knows, and some friends know, but it's just strange making it real to everyone else. I don't want people to get excited for me, and then it doesn't work out. I don't want to hurt any friends who might not like the idea of me liking someone. But I want to be honest, and I want it to be known. But then again, let me clarify right now that it's been made very clear that we are just friends because I'm leaving for the Air Force so soon.

Everything with Melanie ended in disaster and I'm just... I know this won't end up that way, but I just worry about... I just need to stop worrying.

I just thought of the scene from The Village when Ivy Walker (the blind female main character) goes out onto her porch in the middle of the night because Lucious is sitting out there and when she asks why he is on that porch he answers that he worries for her safety above all things (in... So many words). I'm sitting out on a rocking chair on her porch and I wouldn't mind sitting out here all night.
It's not for the same reasons, but I'd be content to sit out here just knowing that I was near. I'd protect her if there was anything to protect her from, but I think the worst thing I'll have to protect her from is myself.
I have a lot of things to deal with and a lot of growing to do. And I'm going away for a Long time.

I hope things work out. I really like her.


"Goodnight." I went home and went to bed, before I could finish, but now I'm finishing this blog.

In other news, Tiger Lily officially uses the doggie door to go outside. I hope she doesn't run away.

My friend Bradley brought a strange circumstance to my attention yesterday. Zero, the quantity, is plural.
You can have one goose, two geese, or zero geese.
One jump, two jumps, or zero jumps.
Two Tylers, one Tyler, or zero Tylers.
Isn't that strange? Just thought I'd share. We're still contemplating why this is, but maybe zero is simply where infinity and negative infinity meet, and as such, zero is plural due to the fact that it's not refering to just one object, but infinite many objects that you simply have none of.

And I feel rather proud of that description.

I am very excited to be on page 152 in Twilight. I am quite enjoying the book. I picked it up because--I'm not sure if I said it in a previous blog, but I think I did. The movie seemed to have good roots, but it seemed to be lacking quite a bit, so it inspired me to pick up the book, and I am enjoying it.

That's all for now.
~16.67 days left.
I'm sorry Jacksonville... I don't think I'm going to make it over there. Also, I'm sorry to Jupiter... I was down there and didn't visit anyone but family.

I'm going to the park, which is finally not under water anymore, and I'm going to ride my bike. Maybe I'll go by my old house and leap in the pool if it's still hot outside and not raining yet.
Meeting up with Quig tonight to hang out.

Love ya! (well... Most of you anyway.) ;-)
Matthew