Fishing in a Field of Wheat

Blog from when I was using LiveJournal.

[	mood	|	Dizzy	]
[	music	|	Eisley - Laughing City EP	]

Okay, this is my sermon, so I hope you don't mind me preaching.
Fishing in a Field of Wheat
This is what God will let us do when we stray from His will. We're trying to get what "we" want, so God simply says, "Go for it. You want a fish, here's a rod, go fishing." So God stands back and smiles as we're like "Cool, God's gonna let us try to get what we want for once." The only thing we don't realize is that we are casting our line out into a field of wheat. When we do realize though, God raises an eyebrow and asks, "Have I proven my point?" And then he says in such a loving way, "Follow me, I'll get you what you're looking for."
07/16/05 (01:09)

07/16/05 (03:45)

Writing for a time
When you would have recognized
But now everything sounds the same
And everything changed remains
I'd try to win you back if I could
But that would be too wrong of me
How then would you share God's love with this world?
Spread your wings MNM
You've shown me that even I have some strength
I should always offer my thanks
Your wings are a rainbow filled blessing
I was fishing in a field of wheat
And by chance you shown up next to me
I failed to see your beauty in the moment
But now I see and know
And struggle with letting you go
(07/18/05 (00:35))
But I found you in a field
Where I wasn't s'posed to be
So now after I leave
I long for you to flutter after me
But I flail goodbye
And fare thee well with tears in my eyes

07/17/05 (14:32)

My eyes glazed over
I might as well lay down
My weapons and swords
There was once strength within these words
But I caged it away
In the box that they gave me
And in such a place
I found that all I had gained
Was their pleasure in making me
Into another cliche
And this haze in my eyes
As I slowly over time
Grew into faded conformity

07/18/05 (00:03)

I miss people...
I miss dancing...
I miss bible studies...
I'm sitting out here spinning in a chair
And staring out the window because there's just nothing to do
I have no desire to sleep
I don't want to watch TV or read
I already wrote my essay for school
And I didn't want to do that either
I want to see faces
And hear laughter dance across a room
I long to deliver flowers, to someone I dearly love
I desire a conversation without my own voice on the phone
I want to take a picture of something nowhere near a mirror
My faces could be funny but I'm tired of all my eyes
All the masks are keeping my heart hidden
And a cage is closing in around me
I'm slipping from this cliff-face
And I feel like giving in
I feel like taking all the drugs
And dancing with the moon
Or calling out to sanity
Just to find I've lost the proof
I feel like learning all the answers
And forgetting all the questions
I feel like staring into strangers' eyes
And kissing this world's tears goodbye
I feel like dying
I feel like living
And I feel like drifting
Into no particular face
Or simply writing random words
While I try to avoid sleep

Sorry, I was just writing
I don't know what I've written
But it seems bad enough though
Well, I guess I'm gonna go now
And I want to go home…
In many more ways than one
And I want to stop rhyming
And I want to stop wanting
And I want to go eat something
But I know that I'm not hungry

I think maybe that I'm crazy
But I'm hearing lights are singing
They're bright and shining from my eyes
My pillows tired and my head is long deprived
This has gotten me almost nowhere...
This wasn't what I meant to write
I wanted to write something about my sister
And some other stuff I think
Maybe a comment or two in relation to you
But I'm dizzy from spinning on this chair
Thee I well fare


Joke from a stick: Why did the driver throw money in the street?
So 'she' could stop on a dime

Or, just for kicks, If you're Lui, Josiah, or me: Why did the driver throw my heart in the street?
So 'she' could run over it and make sure it was broken and had ceased beating.

It's okay, that's just a Joke. Someone and I have actually talked things through, and I guess that's that. I guess.

With Love, (and a broken heart dying to live)
Matt

Does anybody even read this anymore?

COMMENTS

mystagnantheart
2005-07-18 07:22 pm UTC (link)

Select

I still read... And, if it means anything, I never stopped loving you. You're my big bro! It may not seem like it, but I'm still here. I'll always be here. Don't forget that. Always, The Cripple