MEPS

I can’t describe love to you.
I just know it deep down. There’s a certain balance between an animal’s instincts and what little part of us is left to be human. True love finds that balance. Some people move too far to the animal side and yet still try to call it love, while some won’t open themselves up to instinct but continue to claim they know love.

This world has forgotten love. Either boys won’t embrace the animal within them and become a man… the lion they were created to become… or they are overcome and lost within the bloodlust of the roar. They won’t go near the power or they find themselves overtaken by it.

Very few find the balance.

Very few can control... and I’m not so sure that those who can will ever be properly appreciated.

MEPS

Military Entrance Processing Station

This has nothing to do with love or control, so please, don’t connect them. That’s simply what I was thinking about when I started writing.

What follows is going to be too much information about what I did last Thursday, 20090115. That’s a WARNING. Watch out for more information than you wanted.

The Wednesday night before, I shared a hotel room in Montgomery, AL with a stranger who felt like a brother. I had never met him before that day, but there’s just something about the experience. There’s just something that bonds you, and yet by the end of the day you may never see them again.

The alarm clock was a bit crazy, and it tried to go off at 0236 and then again around 0330–Couldn’t sleep too well after that. We got up at 0400, dressed and zipped up our bags, and headed down to breakfast with our stuff, not to go back to the room.

By 0500 we’re all on a bus headed to an Air Force base. Not everyone there was joining the USAF, the MEPS was just happened to be on a USAF base.

We all unloaded the bus and entered the MEPS. Our bags went through an x-ray machine just as they would in an airport. They were then placed in a baggage room. We had a quick briefing on the rules and then attendance was called. We were then filed out based on what branch of the military we were joining. I believe Air Force was last.

We went up to the second story and into the USAF counselor office where we received two folders of papers and nametags with our name, social, branch, and barcode. This was our temporary pass which allowed us on the base. We then went up to the third floor where we were separated—male and female—to go to different stations. Some were getting there blood pressure taken, while I went first to the hearing test. Nine of us went into a booth and sat on stools separated by curtains. We each had a pair of headphones and a button. Simple enough, we listened and when we heard a tone we pressed the button. I’m not so sure it was extremely accurate though. Later in the day Dakota told me that she had just continuously pushed the button.

After this we went and sat in chairs, moving down the rows as the line moved down the hall. The eye exam was next. I was really worried about this one. I didn’t want to be disqualified because of my bad eye sight. I seem to have passed though. Again, I don’t think the test was very good, just something to run everybody though. Later on, while moving back and forth through the halls and talking with people I found that a lot of us failed the depth perception part. It was just a bad test of depth perception.

Next I was going to go to blood pressure, but they lined all the males up to go into a room. There was another quick briefing with more rules, and emergency policies. We then sat down and were guided though filling out several medical history forms that were in one of our folders. They told us that we write the date as YYYYMMDD for military purposes, and we sign our full name; First, Middle, and Last. We took a breathalyzer test and then went back out to the hall. Don’t think this was a quick process. We were probably in that room for nearly an hour. The sun was coming up while we were in this room.

We went back into the central area where I was directed to the line for my blood pressure. After that I was directed down to the far end of the opposite hall to see a Doctor. I walked into a room of guys in their underwear and then proceeded into a small office where a young Doctor asked about my drug history... which was rather void. [Just a side note, It’s amazing how many guys were talking about pot and all manner of other drugs.] Anyway, back in the other room I stripped down to my boxers and a rather heavy, short man in a white coat led us all through some simple stretches and exercises. We started with swinging our arms around, and moved through walking on our toes, heels, and knees, duck walks, crab walks, demonstrated movement of our wrists and hands, and then simply walked around the room. We lined up to be weighed and measured while other guys started filing into the room and stripping down. I was 6’0”, 136 lbs. We sat on a bench along the whole front of the room while the new entries went through the exercises right in front of us. One by one we went into the two offices at the back of the room to see the doctors.

Again I’ll warn you that this comes as TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Be prepared.

Two groups had come in and gone through the exercises and measurements by the time I went in to see a doctor. I ended up with the doctor that I hadn’t met before stripping down to my boxers. He was old and his hands were bent and deformed, but he was nice. He checked my ears and mouth and heart and such, and then came the fun part. “Drop your drawers.” Well, I kicked off the drawers and standing there in full nude I did the hernia cough thingy, he made sure I had both testicles, and then I had to bend over and spread my cheeks. It had to be done, so I didn’t really find it that awkward except for that moment when... ah-hem... Well anyway, I told you it would be too much information. I’ll leave out the WAY TMI moment and just end it there. He explained all the information to me about the tests I’d been through: sight, hearing, etc. I did well.

I went back out and got dressed again as more guys went through the stripping down and exercising. It’s amazing how bad some of them were with following directions or some would just toss there stuff on the floor and the heavy Dr. would have to tell the “Put your stuff in a locker, this is the military, not your house.” I went back out into the hall and was sent to the line for the urinalysis. I was just glad I was getting to that point where I really had to go. They took us in three at a time, and it was a rather slow line. Anyway, we got these little cups and stood on a line about three feet out from a urinal where a guy watched us pee and then when the cup was past half way we could move forward and place the cup on a shelf and finish in the urinal. I heard some funny stories about this... but I’ll leave those to your imagination.

We gave a lady our cups and signed some stuff then washed our hands and then I went out to have some blood taken. After that, I was done. I turned in my folders and waited for them to input my information into their computers. They handed me back one of my folders and sent me back to the second floor. I went to the USAF office and turned the folder in. They sent me down to the first floor to get my fingerprints taken, which took a little bit, but after I went back to the second floor to wait for them to call me. Eventually they called me in and I sat down with a (some-sort-of) Sgt. Valentine. Maybe he was a Master Sgt, but I’m not sure. Anyway, we sat down and started talking about jobs. I told him that I was extremely flexible and open to just about anything. I really just wanted to get a job that I could book and start training for as soon as possible. So he started mentioning some things to me and then a man from the other room came in and asked if he wanted me to take a DLAB test.

I really didn’t follow this whole conversation, but he said I was EWQ (Exceptionally Well Qualified) and so I could test for this job just to see. I think it was basically like something opened up that shouldn’t have been open, and it was a really rare and good job. Someone had dropped out or something and that’s why it opened up. I really don’t know what happened, but they briefly told me about the linguist job and asked if that seemed interesting to me. I could take this DLAB test and it wouldn’t hurt me, it was just to see if I qualified for the job since I was already EWQ. I thought, “sure, why not.”

So, there was a girl that I had met the night before after dinner at the hotel. A group of us had sat playing Phase10 and that’s where I met her. Well, Brittney was taking the DLAB as well, and so they sent us to lunch early so that we wouldn’t miss lunch while we were taking the test. Lunch was awesome, and I can’t wait to live on a base. I am definitely looking forward to getting back onto a base. Well, turns out there was another guy taking the test too. We all went back from lunch and went in to take the test. There was a page we read at the beginning of the test that said it was confidential and we weren’t to discuss it with anyone, so I won’t tell you much about it except for how they described it to me. They said that it was a sort of made up language and it would test our ability to hear and identify patterns and stress tones on certain syllables and such. It was a test to see how well we could connect things that didn’t exactly make plain sense to us. Something like, “okay, you won’t understand what’s being said, but can you identify this pattern, or can you identify what connects these items and how they lead to this new one?” It’s kind of difficult to explain in writing without telling you too much, but you can look it up. There’s information on it online, I just don’t want to type anything because it said that I couldn’t.

Brittney finished the test first, and about ten to fifteen minutes later the other guy finished. I finished about five or so minutes after him. My mind was mush by the end. I was so lost in connecting things that didn’t make much sense that I just didn’t want to think anymore. Brittney had already received her score and headed back to the USAF office by the time I got out. I waited with the other guy and we discussed some of the things that were on there and how neither of us understood the directions to the final section at first. He got his papers back and I waited about ten more minutes for mine before I head back to the office.

When I had handed the guy my folder he looked at my score and asked me if I was some kind of genius or something. I thought he was kidding because I didn’t think I had passed. My brain was so tired I figured I was just putting down answers at times. I really didn’t think I had passed. I was the only one to pass. Brittney had a 75, the other guy was close to passing (which was 100), and I had a 135 out of like 176. Sgt. Valentine seemed impressed by the score too, so I guess I did really well. I had to wait a little bit because he was seeing someone right then, but it didn’t take long. He signed me up for the Linguist job. Technically, the full job title is a Cryptologic Linguist Apprentice. It seemed like it was pretty sure I’d get the job, but I wasn’t signing a contract for it yet. I guess because they had to wait for all the blood and urine tests and whatnot.

I went downstairs, then upstairs, then back down several times, delivering papers, having them explained to me, signing them, and then delivering them again, signing some more, having Sgt. Valentine sign... etc. Finally I ended up downstairs with about eleven others and we went into a red room with a flag and a podium. A man explained how to stand at attention; feet at a forty-five degree angle, don’t lock the legs, hands in a loose fist with thumbs pointing down the seam of our pants. We all then held up our right hands [one guy actually had to be instructed to hold up his ‘other’ right hand, sadly enough] and we repeated after the man up front. He had to clarify before starting that we didn’t repeat “state your name,” but instead were to actually state our names, that ‘swear’ and ‘affirm’ meant the same thing, and the “So help me God.” was optional.

“I, (state your name), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to the regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

After that we basically just had to wait for everyone on our bus to finish everything. It took quite a while, actually. We were waiting over an hour for two people. The fifteen passenger van we rode in had fifteen people in it, plus a bag for each one of us, and several purses. It was PACKED!!!

The four of us crammed in the backseat were all going numb. I don’t think those busses were designed to sit grown men (And might I add that it’s very strange to refer to myself as a ‘grown man.’ I’m not really that old, am I?). After a little over an hour of driving the guy in the front seat got off and I moved up to the first row where another guy had moved from to sit up front. Another hour or so down the road half of the rest of everyone got off. I don’t know how long it was to get all the way back, but it was near 2300 when I stopped by Starbucks to make sure I’d stay awake on the hour (+) drive home, since my recruiter’s office is down in Panama City, FL.

Dakota had spoken with T.Sgt. Fisher (our recruiter) while we were waiting to leave MEPS, and we were supposed to meet her Wednesday, 20090121 at 1500.

So those were the adventures of MEPS. I’m probably the only person in history who actually enjoyed the experience. But I'm just really stoked about going!!!

I found out yesterday, 20090121, that I got the job, and I ship out to Basic Military Training (BMT) on 20090427. That’s April 27, I will be leaving for Basic. After that I’ll have six to twelve months (I’m guessing toward the ‘twelve’ end) of training for the Linguist job in Monterey CA, followed by twelve weeks and three days at Goodfellow AFB, TX.

Currently listening: The Becoming, Vol. 1 By: The Becoming Release date: 2008-09-30