Category: Romance and Relationships
I don't believe there is an easy way through this part of life. There is no easy way to stop trying for something and then prove you're not a quitter. There is now easy way to break your own heart, but I know that I must. God is calling me. God is asking that I give him my heart, and my life completely. Join me in chasing after God's heart.
"It's a fight between my heart and mind, No one really wins this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride, No one really wins this time."
You want to love, I know you do, but it seems like something is holding you back. I don't know if it's fear, or doubt, or your friends, or your family.
I know that it is in you to love. I can see you dying to let it out.
I know that at times we can be very lonely, but God will be our comfort and our shelter, and our strength. Come with me. Run with me.
It is not shameful to run from Satan. I believe it is wise. We all want the physical aspect of love, but that needs to wait. I know it feels good, and God knows that we want it, but it needs
God is Love. I am chasing after him because I know this. I want nothing to hinder my ability to love, and if that means leaving behind things that I want, so-be-it. I love movies and video games, and countless other activities. God isn't telling me I can't enjoy these things. He is simply trying to help me get my priorities straight. He needs to be first in my life, not me.
He is saying "Do anything and everything that you enjoy. I want you to be happy. But nothing will satisfy you unless you first have love. I am love, and I am freely offering myself to you for your benefit and pleasure." He's not telling me (or you) that we can't watch rated movies or tv, or go out with our friends, or have sex. He is telling us that these things will never please us if we don't have him. We were created to worship him, and this whole world is unsatisfied and "seeking" because that is our purpose in life, and they are trying to figure out what they're supposed to be worshipping. Is it the next American Idol? Johnny Depp? The love of your life? Friends? Money?
God is not saying these things are bad. He created them. He wants us to enjoy his creations. They were all created for us and for our enjoyment. We were created to be his companions. We were created for his enjoyment. He delights in us.
to wait until you're in "Love"
Draw a triangle before you read on.
This will be a diagram to show you how love works.
Write "God (Love)" at the top point of the triangle.
Write "A" and "B" at the two bottom angles.
Draw in the middle of the side opposite the angle that says "God (Love)"
/\
God (Love)
/ \
/ \
/ \
/ \
A_____ * _____B
This triangle shows where we are as humans. Most couples join at the *. God is hardly involved if he is involved at all, because we focus on keeping each other close and we don't focus on God. For love to be healthy and complete, we need to focus on God. As we get closer to God, God will bring us closer together until we are within him, and thus "in Love."
So chase after God. Meet your lover there: in Love. It's not an easy road. But it promises eternal joy. No more sadness. No loneliness.
I am not forcing you to use this model. I am not trying to use love as leverage to get you to follow God half-heartedly.
I will focus on reaching God, and I will wait all my life for (a certain) someone to meet me in Love. I know that God did not create a better girl for me than the one who will meet me there. No one can be better than perfect. He created us all exactly as he meant to; every strength, every flaw. He created me exactly as he wants me to be.
I have never been so sure of anything in my life. My faith in God has always been the determining factor of every choice. Every thought I had, I knew God was waiting for me. I knew he loved me, but I always wanted to be able to enjoy the things of this world. I was always too busy to make time for God, but now...
I know, I may miss out on a few things for a short time, but I will have eternity to catch up. Movies I missed, games I didn't have time for; I will have time for everything one day, but only if I am with God.
This is why I am running after him. This is why Janell is running after him. She tried everything... Nothing satisfied. But now she knows what will. It's simply a matter of surrendering yourself. I am giving up my pathetic excuse for a life so that I can live the ultimate life.
I cannot express how much I want you to join me, but that is up to you. The one requirement that God demands is dependence. We MUST depend completely on him. We must stop depending on ourselves. I know that this can be a hard surrender for most. That is why I am not forcing this on you.
It breaks my heart to leave some things, but that's what God requires. He promises to give us a heart that will last forever; his heart. But in order to give us his eternal, joyful, perfect heart, he must first remove ours. We were supposed to give him our heart first, before we fell in love with anything else, but we didn't. So now, he must cut off all of these ties. Don't worry though. When he replaces our hearts with his, he will put all those veins back. Our broken hearts will be fully mended if we allow him to fully break them. Hearts don't break because they kind of like something; they break when love is involved.
Love is involved here, and I am willing to break my heart, to have it restored and repaired completely, 100% brand new. I want to do this so that I can love in the best way possible.
I want to run, full speed ahead. If I move slowly, or say "I just have to do this first, or finish this" I will get tied up and be held back and tripped up. That is why I want to drop EVERYTHING and run to God. I pray that you will come with me.
Think of the triangle when you think of loving someone. The closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other.
Meet each other there: "in Love."
Well, that's all for now.
I hope this encourages you as much as it encouraged me when I accidentally wrote it.
"Your Face Here" upon my heart with love
Matthew
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