Real Life in Draft: Thank God! Praise God! Believe in God!

Blog from MySpace.

Current mood:

artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

I don't have much time, so I won't explain these... but who needs that anyway... they're here for your opinions... not mine.
(These are all the writings in my new green memo pad... all of them so far)

10/20/06 (21:13)

Beat heart beat
Heart beat heart
Beat hard
Breathe slow
Breathe fast
Breathe deep
Breathe shallow
Touch
Don't touch
It's all so mechanical
It's a hot stove
I've been to boiling my blood before
It didn't cure anything but a lustful desire then either
Why should now be any different?
What is it, Lord, that I desire?
Beat heart beat
Heart beat heart
Beat hard
Breathe deep
Breathe fast
Breathe slow
Breathe shallow
Touch
Don't touch
A plan O so maniacal
Her clothes stay on
Her clothes come off
Her clothes get lost
Her clothes stay on / come off
Decide!
Don't play a game
There's not the time
Decide!
I want close
But not that close
I want to sit comfortably near the door
Close enough to feel the inner warmth
I don't want in
I don't want out
I don't want in
I want you out
Out of sight
Out of mind
But not so out of heart
Closed eyes
Closed mind
But the heart still beats
(Oh such a foolish lustful tune)
The heart still beats
(And my flesh still desires you)
Oh! Don't be fooled
Cut ties!!!
Best friends make even better enemies
So kiss me
And smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
But in the very next moment
I'll be gone
And I'll be convicted by every single photograph
No matter how poor the quality
It's outweighed by the quantity
And I'll pray forgiveness
And I'll beg for greatness
Strength to fight this unbeatable desire

10/30/06 (23:54)

Thank God I wasn't born on this day
Thank God I wasn't born on this day
Thank God I wasn't born
So selfish!!!
(let's celebrate)
Thank God!
Thank God!
So selfish!!!
I put myself to shame
And thank God I can wish myself
A very merry unbirthday
As I fail to die
(to myself)
{[(I was listening to Underoath's "Define The Great Line" if you want an idea of the type of tune or sound this might have in my head.)]}

10/31/06 (10:50) (11:01) (22:40)

Thank God I wasn't born on this day
Thank God I wasn't born
So selfish!!!
(let's celebrate)
Thank God!
Thank God!
So selfish!!!
I put myself to shame
Walking lonely through each day
Claiming I have faith
But collecting every burden
I find along the way
What good is it?
Not living life
But clinging to regret
What good is it?
Living life for death
What role does death play in life?
What part of God is dying?
You are Life
Why do I live for death?
Teacher,
How can I enter the Kingdom?
Teacher!
I lift up my eyes to you
Then too quickly
Look to my own feet to carry me
So proud
I fall on my face and glance around
And all the pretty
Little horses
They winnie
And I cry out
In silence
My God, My God I want this!
My God! My God!
So Selfish!!!
I put myself to shame
Cut out my tongue, I pray
And let me drown in the glory of such evil removed

10/31/06 (22:45)

Lord, pursue me I pray
I've been running circles within myself all day
I need to be found out
But I can't catch the culprit
I've run away with myself
Kidnapped by my own selfishness
I can't catch the culprit
'Cause I'm the one to blame
I'm so tired of chasing my own heart
God take me down
Loose me of this spirt of myself that I can't shake.

10/31/06 (23:45)

Lord,
Let my words
be pleasing
to your Heart
Amen.