The Bigger Picture... Specifically.

I wrote all of this on February 18.

I must apologize.
I am lost somewhere within my head and my thoughts.
I feel like I used to look at a broad and wide open picture of things, but lately I've dug myself in with a microscope and I can't see the forest for the trees.
My mind is so cluttered and there is so much just whizzing past me and by now I can't even grab hold of any of it.
I can't put my thoughts into words.
I can't put my emotions into colors.
I can't put my energy into action.
I feel like there is just so much to be said and done, and it all seems so simple and yet so impossible.

Trying to think that all the strength of a dam may be balanced on a simple stone or twig.
All the functions of a modern car can cease if a tiny microchip malfunctions.
All the operations performed by my body start at a cellular level.

I feel as if I had been reading a book- my life story- and someone came along and shoved my face down against the pages.
I can't see what's going on. I can't understand my own thoughts.

I'm lost.
It seems that the only time I can focus is when I sit down and talk to someone. Then I can piece things together.
But I hardly ever have a chance to sit and talk with anyone.
I think maybe that's what it is.
Maybe my mind has just become so cluttered because I never get anything out of it, maybe it's like a crowded room filled with smoke.

Copeland - I'm Safer On An Airplane 

I think I'm safer in an airplane.
I think I'm safer with my lungs full of smoke.
I thing I'm safer on the jetway
Than a world without hope.

I think I'm safer in an airplane.
I think I'm safer if I run through the streets.
I thing I'm safer on the jetway
Than a world without peace.

I think I'm safer in an airplane.
I think I'm safer in the sky up above.
I thing I'm safer on the jetway
Than a world without love.

I just want God in my life.
I can't wait for the simplicity of having nothing.
I've been packing up my room, and I really like it. The more things disappear, the better I feel. It's freedom.
I feel better when I'm cleaning and packing. But I also feel as if I don't want to do anything else.

Eat Sleep Repeat    By: Copeland Release date: 2007-06-05