A nice day (for an umbrella)

So, Wednesday morning I woke up feeling like I wanted to carry an umbrella. It was a beautiful day, all day. No rain at all. But I still had this feeling in my gut that it was a nice day to carry an umbrella. :-)
So when I got off work... I carried around my umbrella... Even though I never opened it.

05/28/08 (11:45)
I know the sun is shining
It's only raining in my heart
And I'm still smiling
But it just seems like such a fine day...
A nice day for an umbrella.


And... I'm planning a party! :-)
I just rearranged most of my furniture in preparation. I'm excited!!!
I think it will be June 19 AND 20. Two days of wild and crazy games and movies and music and fun for my 22nd birthday (which is actually on the 15th). How does that sound? Two for 22.

We will grill up some burgers and hot dogs... Fry some fries and other foods to fry. Drink soda and energy drinks. Car-pool our way out to Graceville to play Smashball with it's creator, Josiah. Wii battles battles with Mario Kart, Smash Brothers Brawl, Guitar Hero III...

You really don't want to miss this. More info to come soon, when I get the dates officially finalized.
Oh... The greatest part... The reason I'm throwing the party... It's not really for my birthday, that was just an excuse. It was an excuse to invite friends from Jacksonville to come visit Marianna... Since I'm always visiting Jacksonville.

Sad to say, but I believe only Austin will make it... Hopefully his brother Jonathan as well. But it looks like everyone else is too busy... Not to say they don't want to come... They just can't fit it in with school and work and all.
Anyway... More news, and official invites to come. :-)

"Your face here" upon my heart with love...
Matthew Shane...

A nice day (for an umbrella) [continued]

Oh... And there were some flies hard at work at work...
So I guess now I've seen everything (but maybe not really...).

Happily, After (I'm Gone)

So, you know...
I've just realized, (and almost a month away from 22 is probably entirely too late, but) happy endings... True love... Fairy tales???
None of it will ever happen. I'm so tired of it. No one believes in anything anymore!
Everyone's so caught up in getting what they want, and getting their fill of sex that they can't simply find pure joy in giving what they love the most. All I've ever wanted was love. I believed in it. I waited for it. I dreamt of it. I lived for it.

But for what... Why?

No one will ever believe in the simplicity of it. Everything always has to be so complicated. It will never exist if people never truly believe. Sure, a happy ending is what everyone wants, but no one fully believes with all their heart that they'll accomplish it. No wonder I just want to leave.

I just keep telling people lately... Well, more asking them... "Do you ever just want to go? Pack up some clothes, and leave everything behind. Just go..."
I promise you all. One day I'll be gone. I'll just disappear. Because I'm sick of this dreamless life. I'm sick of people thinking I'm crazy because I smile when I shouldn't. I'm sick of wanting to be a prince charming, but never having a princess to rescue.
But one day soon... I'll be leaving. I'm done looking for love... But now I need to find where I belong. And...
I'll just be gone. I'm not calling into work. I'm not tellig my family. I'm just going to be out the door and gone.

My one, and only concern... :-) How will I take all my shirts with me?

I just wanted to warn you all. Those few of you who actually read this.
Someday I'll be gone... Someday soon.