Book writing with words

Long ago (more than half my life at this point) I started writing a book. At the time I was maybe 15, and heavily inspired by Christopher Paolini's Eragon. I had planned to write a series about a great war, heavily influenced by the Suikoden games and the concept of the main character recruiting numerous characters and building up a castle/fortress/town with all the characters recruited. Obviously I never finished. I wrote and rewrote six to ten chapters and eventually found myself distracted from the story by the world building. I started creating lore and creatures and eventually stopped writing the story. So the notes and ideas sat dormant for a long while, always in the back of my mind as something I wanted to finish but never got around to. Lately, ideas and inspiration have been flooding my mind at every turn and I find myself longing to write. So I'm here, writing.

I used to keep all my writings in Word documents: poems, songs, my book and notes, copies of AOL IM conversations, text messages, email conversations, backed up MySpace posts and comments. I had documents for all sorts of nonsense and memories. In one late night session of file organizing inspiration back in 2014, I decided I wasn't actively using any of the files, so I could save some hard drive space by compressing everything into a zipped folder. Because securing my files seemed like a good idea, I password protected the file with 256-bit encryption. I remember creating the password and saving it in my KeePass database. It was around 2 in the morning and I looked around the room, merging words from random objects I saw, and because my KeyPass database would keep it safe, I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting it. It wasn't until two or three years later when I went looking for some file that I discovered I did not save the password, or it accidently ended up deleted in a database conflict. I also couldn't remember my late night inspired, random password. So I now have a wonderful zipped file with all my old writings and files sitting on my desktop as a constant reminder that I cannot access it.

Fortunately, the one folder I left out of the zipped file was the book that I always wanted to finish writing but never took time to work on. So all my chapters and notes are still accessible.

In the past couple years, I moved all my notes to OneNote, and that's where I've been throwing all my notes lately. I keep jotting down random ideas and thoughts. When I moved all my notes to OneNote I read through a lot of them trying to remember all of my original ideas and plans (that I thought were impossible to ever forget). I realized I've forgotten almost everything. Even some notes I wrote down don't make sense because I can't remember the context of ideas that inspired them. So I'm almost starting with a clean slate. Sure I have a handful of chapters written and plenty of world building notes, but there are a lot of bits and pieces I have forgotten completely. If I remember my original plans, I start there, but I've allowed myself the freedom to adjust and some characters/ideas I've completely redefined. So I've been thinking up character backstories and plot twists and taking lots of random notes, but I have yet to revisit the previously written chapters.

It's a wonderful feeling of inspiration, but I hate to find myself sitting at the computer at night. I spend all day in front of a computer for work, and I really don't want to come home to another computer, but the inspiration and ideas are overflowing from my head while I'm working, while I'm driving--anywhere and everywhere I'm coming up with new ideas and it's so exciting! So I think I'm willing to sacrifice some more time in front of a computer to get back to writing.

On that note, maybe six or seven years ago I discovered Scrivener, the word processing software for authors, but I wasn't writing at the time and didn't want to spend money on something I might not use. So I filed it away in Evernote for "someday." I've decided someday is finally here. I'm going to buy Scrivener and I'm stoked!

Will it help me write? Nah.

Will it help me organize my notes and thoughts? I certainly expect so.

Will I have to spend a good bit of time figuring out how to use it? I imagine I will.

But I'm stoked nonetheless.

Don't expect a finished book anytime soon, but know that it's on my mind.

Goodreads Audible Review - The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn

The Harbinger: The Ancient Mystery That Holds the Secret of America's Future by Jonathan Cahn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I listened to the Audible version, narrated by the author.
The facts in this book are incredible and nearly unbelievable (but look them up, and you'll see). I highly recommend it. I think it mainly suffers in the way it was turned into a narrative.
First, I think it should have been written entirely in the first person, as it gets a little confusing (especially the audio version) when it jumps from the past (first person account) to the present (third person). As it was written, Nouriel is telling the story first person in the past, but becomes "he" in the present, which conflicts with the prophet being called "he" all the time as well. I think the three main speakers should be: Nouriel, always narrating in the first person, The Prophet in the past, often referred to as he or him, and Ana in the present referred as she/her from Nouriel's perspective. Might not be such an annoyance when actually reading the book, but when listening to the audio it was frustrating.
Second, speaking of the audiobook, the narration is good, because Cahn is passionate about his story and message, but I think it suffers because he doesn't usually create voices for the characters i.e. everyone sounds the same. So when Nouriel and The Prophet are discussing back and forth, interrupting or repeating each other and then Ana chimes in from the present, it's difficult to follow exactly who's talking unless it's tied to a "he said/I said/she said."
Third, on that repetition piece, sometimes it seems like Cahn just likes to hear his own story. I don't believe this is the case, I think he just wants to cover all angles and make sure the message comes across clearly by repeating key details. In the first half of the book, while revealing the harbingers, it worked well, but the repetition of the same things over and over started to get on my nerves later in the book.
My final critique is on solving the mysteries and Ana's character. First, the reputation established for Ana at the start of the book was powerful, and Nouriel's plea never would have convinced her to listen past five minutes. Second, I wish she had a larger part, for example, Nouriel could have visited her after receiving each seal, and she could have helped him solve the mysteries, but I guess that would have made it more story between Nouriel and Ana and less narrated dialogue between Nouriel and The Prophet. Finally, the solving of the mysteries of each seal was hit or miss. It seemed like a couple Nouriel didn't even solve or come close, he just ended up in the right place to meet The Prophet, while others had zero mystery and he figured out immediately. For example The Prophet showed up at the library to give Nouriel a hint on one of the seals, but then he ended up just explaining the whole thing anyway. Again, this would have turned more into a story about solving the mysteries, distracting from the message presented as a dialogue between Nouriel and The Prophet.
Not to say that the book was bad, but in the end, I think Cahn didn't want to write a list of facts, so he tried write a suspenseful novel about discovering true facts in mysteries, but failed to deliver some story elements because he didn't want the suspense and mystery to distract from the facts he wanted to get across. Again, seems like he's in love with the message and won't leave it for adding story bits, which is understandable.

A side note that has almost nothing to do with this book review, but it was just something in my mind that gave it an extra kick.
Toward the end when The Prophet voiced the call to "return" it reminded me of the song "Subject To Change" by Project 86, from their album …And The Rest Will Follow. "Subject to Change" has a section of the chorus that chants "return, return, return" and now reading the lyrics again, the song could easily stand beside Cahn's message (despite the album's release in 2005). It speaks of a character hiding in useless distractions and devices to escape from themselves and then calls them to "Return to yourself". The bridge toward the end could even be calling out the public's momentary turn to God following 9/11, stating "Remember when you nearly plunged into embrace? But instead you've chosen to keep it all at bay. (lyrics here: https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3...)

Overall, I was fascinated by what was presented in this book, just a little disappointed with some of the formatting and some areas of the story I felt were weak. But since this isn't about the story, it can be forgiven.
So 4 Stars for the story and audio narration, but 5 Stars for the message.

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A Lament (CTW)

2020-10-19 0407

I can't sleep and I feign to call it grief. Just imagine what his family is feeling. I can't. I hope to call his parents and it terrifies me to think that the call might be more to comfort myself and will actual cause his parents more pain.

A simple prayer

In my nightmare

Is that this conversation

Won't be more (comfort) to me

Than it is (disruptive) to you

Cause I can't sleep

And my night's stare

Locked on the ceiling

Thinking of all that you endure

There's nothing I could say or do

And calling only serves to prove

That my temporary fits of grief

Are just a thimble in your boiling seas

My discomfort and my dis-ease

Nothing to a parents need

To hold their son again

I can hardly pretend to understand

And it's so unfair

That we call for peace

In your hour of grief

And we won't relent

No time to breathe

And my simple prayer

In this nightmare

Is that my call for peace

Won't cause you grief

Because despite my love

He wasn't my son

So I pray

The Lord

Bless you and keep you

In joy everlasting

Because I have nothing helpful to say

And maybe one day

You'll forgive my intrusion

The greatest of my sins

Disturbing the grief begins again